Finding Gratitude for Your Body
Thanksgiving is supposed to be a time to reflect on what we’re grateful for. But when you’re struggling with infertility, this season can feel like one long reminder of everything you don’t have.
The pregnancy announcements, the “I’m so thankful for my family” posts, the adorable baby photos in pumpkin patches - it can all sting. Especially when you’re living in a body that feels like it has betrayed you.
As an infertility therapist, one of my favorite questions to ask clients is: “How do you feel about your body?”
(Closely followed by, “How do you feel about your mother?”—because of course, therapists love talking about mothers.)
When I ask that first question, most people pause, then say something like:
“I’m mad at my body.”
“I hate my body”
“My body doesn’t work.”
And honestly, that makes sense. When your body isn’t doing the one thing you’ve always assumed it could do—get pregnant—it can feel impossible to be grateful for it.
Rebuilding a Relationship With Your Body
When we dislike our bodies, we tend to disconnect from them. We stop paying attention to how we feel. We skip meals, overwork ourselves, or push through exhaustion because it’s easier to ignore than to notice.
But here’s the tricky part: that disconnect can actually make infertility even harder. When we’re not present in our bodies, we lose the mind-body connection that helps us regulate stress, rest, and recover. And if you’re going through IVF or other fertility treatments, that connection becomes even more important.
You don’t have to love your body right now. But maybe, this Thanksgiving, you can find one small thing to be grateful for.
What Gratitude for Your Body Can Look Like
Gratitude doesn’t have to be about big, glowing feelings. It can be quiet. It can be simple. It can even be sarcastic at first (“Thanks a lot, body, for doing the bare minimum”).
But here’s a gentle place to start:
Be grateful for your heart, which keeps showing up even when it’s hurting.
For your lungs, that keep breathing through anxiety and tears.
For your legs, that get you out of bed even when you’d rather hide.
For your eyes, that can see beauty—even when they’re filled with tears.
For your stomach, which protects your organs and gives you strength, even when it doesn’t feel like the center of creation.
For your hands, which hold others, pet your dog, and care for yourself in small ways.
You don’t need to be thankful for your body’s fertility right now. But maybe you can start by being thankful for the ways it shows up for you every day. Your body is doing incredible things, every moment of every day.
A Thanksgiving Practice for Infertility
If you’re struggling to find gratitude, here’s something to try:
Before bed, place your hand over your heart and say quietly, “Thank you for being a team player.”
It doesn’t need to be more than that. Gratitude isn’t about ignoring your pain, it’s about remembering that even in this hard season, your body is still worthy of care and connection.
And if you need help finding that connection again, that’s what therapy is for. You don’t have to do this work alone.
Ready to feel more at peace with your body?
If you’re looking for an infertility therapist who understands what it’s like to feel angry at your body and lost in the world of fertility treatments, I’d love to help. I offer counseling for infertility and support for depression after pregnancy loss in Boston and Seattle.
