What “Unexplained Infertility” Really Means
If you've been told you have “unexplained infertility,” you're probably familiar with the feeling of hearing a doctor say, “Everything looks normal,” while your heart sinks.
It’s confusing. And frustrating. You know something isn’t working the way it should—but no one can tell you why.
There can be a tiny bit of relief in not getting a scary diagnosis like blocked tubes or severe endometriosis. But that relief quickly fades when you realize you still don’t have answers. You're just... stuck.
“Unexplained” Doesn’t Mean Nothing’s Going On
Here’s what I want you to know: unexplained infertility doesn’t mean there’s nothing happening. It just means the usual tests haven’t shown why it’s happening.
Fertility is impacted by so many different systems—hormones, egg and sperm quality, inflammation, immune function, stress, gut health—and most of these things don’t show up on standard labs. So when a provider says “unexplained,” what they often mean is, “we’ve run the usual tests and still don’t know what’s going on.”
It’s kind of like when your printer won’t work. You know it’s not printing, but is it the Wi-Fi? The ink? The settings? Something’s off in the system, but you don’t know which part yet. That’s what “unexplained” really means.
“Will IVF Work If I Have Unexplained Infertility?”
This is one of the most common questions I hear.
The short answer? Sometimes, yes.
Treatments like IUI or IVF can still work even when there’s no clear reason for infertility. They help bypass some of the natural steps that might be blocked or not working well.
But here’s the thing—these treatments don’t always get to the root of what’s going on. They’re more like a shortcut than a repair. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, especially if it gets you where you want to go. But it can feel weird to make such big decisions when you still don’t understand the full picture.
And emotionally, it can be hard to trust a process that’s already felt so uncertain.
The Emotional Weight of Not Knowing
When you don’t have answers, it’s easy to turn the blame inward.
Is it something I did? Am I missing something? Should I be trying harder?
Unexplained infertility can stir up a lot of guilt and shame. You might start scanning everything you eat, every workout, every choice—looking for something to “fix.”
It’s exhausting. And it’s not fair.
Here’s the truth: your body is not broken. You are not doing anything wrong. This is a medical mystery, not a personal failure. And feeling frustrated, angry, or defeated is a completely normal response to an abnormal situation.
Starting IVF Without Clear Answers
Beginning IVF without knowing why you need it can feel like stepping into the unknown. There’s so much riding on it—and yet you still feel unsure about how you got here.
Here are a few ways to stay grounded:
Trust yourself
There are going to be a lot of opinions. From your clinic, your friends, your partner, your mom’s friend’s cousin who got pregnant on the first try with IVF. You don’t have to listen to all of them. Tune into what feels right for you. Your body. Your timing. Your comfort. Your gut matters.
Set boundaries
Infertility can become everyone’s business, and suddenly it feels like you’re managing other people’s emotions too. You’re allowed to say “no” to conversations, events, and even updates. Your emotional space is important. Protect it.
Remember your worth
No matter what happens in this process, you are not defined by the outcome. You are already whole. Already worthy. Already enough. That doesn’t change based on whether you get pregnant.
How Therapy Can Help You Feel More Like You Again
Infertility is more than just a medical issue—it’s emotional. It’s relational. It can impact how you feel about your body, your future, and your identity.
Therapy can give you a place to:
Make sense of all the noise in your head
Grieve what’s been lost or delayed
Feel less alone in the process
Reconnect with your own voice and intuition
Let go of the pressure to figure it all out
You don’t need to be falling apart to need support. You just need a place to land.
Final Thoughts
Unexplained infertility is frustrating, isolating, and deeply unfair. But you’re not alone, and you’re not out of options.
Whether you're deciding on next steps, starting IVF, or just trying to get through each day—support is out there. And you deserve it.
If you’re in Seattle, Boston, or Providence (or working with me online), and you’re looking for someone who gets the emotional side of all this, I’m here. Therapy for infertility can help you feel more grounded and supported as you navigate a path that often doesn’t make sense.
You're not broken. You’re just carrying something really heavy—and you don’t have to carry it alone.
Curious if therapy might help?
Let’s talk. I offer free phone consultations so you can get a feel for what working together might be like.
